The Blue Eyed Guy (pt. 3 one last time/a confession)

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happened today...



I did it. I got him alone. I had him for two hours. He was mine for a while. I was holding him. I had everything I wanted. But he asked for too much. Much more that I could ever give not only to him but to anyone. I just can't, I gave him more than I've ever given to a guy and it wasn't enough. All he wanted was me to give him my body as it is with no feelings or mercy. I couldn't do anything more than what I did. This was the last time, the second and last time. Was it worth all the effort? I'm not sure. I just wish I could give it all to him. But I couldn't. I feel so confused and empty. He treated me as if I meant nothing. And I know I didn't ask for feelings but still. I wanna thank God for giving me the chance to spend time with the guy I'm in love with. I can't ask for more. I wanted one last time with him and it happened I don't wanna be ungrateful. I'm having a headache and I feel like crying. I'll get over it eventually. I achieved my goal, I definitely didn't enjoy it as much as I expected but it's fine. I said no feelings but I feel broken. God heal me. Thank you, for everything.

As always,

Athina, xxx.

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