The Blue Eyed Guy. (pt. 4: Still in love?!)

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2 years ago, January 1st, 2014 that's when it all started. That night will forever be marked in my memory not only because I met him but also because of the other things that happened then, although, let's just focus on him, the Blue Eyed Guy. (If this is the first time you're reading my blog I suggest that you first check out pt.1, pt.2 & pt.3.) 
Believe it or not I knew that meeting this person wasn't random, I knew he would become part of my life, instict? Coincidence? I'm not sure, I just knew, I was a little drunk but still I felt it, from the very first second he spoke to me. I remember every little bit of that day & the other when I was alone with him & again when I had him to myself one year later. 
Back to the present...
Yesterday I saw him, I've seen him a bazillion times since August aka. the last time we talked etc. but none of the times did I feel bad or weird, I always liked him & was "checking him out" or looking at him or checking if he was looking at me and everything but I didn't really care all that much, I didn't really mind it, I wasn't feeling anything too strong or intense I guess his behaviour turned me off that much. I actually kinda fell in love with other guys from school etc.
love, quote, and boy image
But yesterday I noticed him looking at me not just once or twice but more than that, not intensively but noticeably. I felt awkward but not really awkward, I felt something I can't explain, not in love but something in my stomach. He did it again, he made everyone in the room disappear, the guy from my school I'm currently kind of into was sitting right behind him & from where I was it was easier for me to stare at that guy instead of him. That's what I was doing until I caught him continuously looking straight at me, no one was next or behind me that's how I knew he was looking at me. 
He is the guy that has treated me the worst like, ridiculously bad and I'm usually a girl who can't stand any type of mistreatment, I just can't, I stop talking to people even if they do something small but offensive and I rarely forgive that's why I have very few friends and mostly "haters" not actual but you know what I mean -hopefully-. Though he has an unexplainable control over me, my thoughts, my body, my mind, my feelings... He has more power on me than I have on my self, only he can do such thing, no one ever had this ability and the funny thing is that he isn't even trying.
I know I'm not over him cause when I went home, I simply couldn't stop thinking about him, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he was actually in love with me or even if he at least liked me a little bit... He's in general a widely disliked person because he is impolite & has a bad attitude. My mind completely hates him & I don't love him but he's attractive as hell & I'm actually mostly "Sexually" attracted to him... It's like my body can connect to his for no obvious reason, I have a crush on him, a serious one. I'm not as clung to him as I used to be but last night I realised I still feel something strong.

Athina, xox.♛♛



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