6 years later...

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I was packing up my stuff when it suddenly hit me, I’m actually moving, I’m leaving this house, this place, it’s done, I’m done. Although I’m moving like 15 minutes away from where I’m currently living, it’s a change, a major one, one I hated last year when it was initially supposed to happen, but love right now.

June ’11, 4 months after my mum died after suffering for about 1,5 year from a very rare form of lung cancer, I moved here, I hated it so much, I didn’t know anyone, I had never lived in a village before and though it was part of the second biggest city in Greece it still wasn’t a town, it was a small village. I experienced the greatest form of pain here, D E S P E R A T I O N; this, in my opinion is the worst emotion anyone can feel. The aftermath of my mother’s loss was way more damaging than I could’ve ever imagined, I needed her, I went through puberty all by myself, I got my first heartbreak, my first ‘butterflies’, my first period, my first scars, my first boyfriend, my first rejection and so many other things that made the transition even harder. Having changed schools many times in the past I made ‘friends’ quite fast. I met so many people. I stopped talking to most of them when I finished high school -which was last year, but there’s a few people I met here, I’ll never, ever forget, no matter what & I’m gonna list them right here.

1.     The secondary school teacher who helped me ‘discover’ my passion about acting, if it wasn’t for her I’d probably be lost right now, honestly!

2.     The 3 girls I called best friends, for at least a few years, I love you still, you know who you are, I’m so proud of you, you don’t even know, Thank You for letting me be part of your ‘Clique’ –lol!

3.     The 2 guy bffs I had! One of which I almost kissed at the 7-day trip to Italy last year –oops, I’m so sorry honestly, thank you for everything. The second one, I’ve written a very detailed article about, here.

4.     My first ACTUAL boyfriend, whose heart I broke by breaking up with him just to…uhm… flirt with other guys during summertime, I’m very sorry, at least I was honest, right?!

5.     My first love, or how I call him “E.X.” the guy I almost dated, I almost had sex with, that almost loved me, the guy that broke my heart so many times. He wasn’t even that handsome but he had a way to make girls want him too much, the fuck?! Teach me your ways, you asshole. Learn how to treat ladies, F I N A L L Y!

6.     The ‘Blue Eyed Guy’ for whom I’ve written 4 damn articles, it’s a long story –you know.

7.     My ballet teacher, what can I say about her, I adore her so much, she’s the reason why I’m still alive, ballet, too. I’m gonna talk about how dancing saved my life in a different post.

8.     K.D. the guy that gave me my first theatrical roles, the guy I went on vacation with by myself for the first time, the guy I related to so much. One of the most talented writers-directors I’ve met in person. We fought SO much, you can’t even imagine. Thank you for helping me grow acting-wise.

There’s a ton more people I can think about but for now that’s all I can give you so let’s move on…

Aside from the ‘negatives’ I mentioned before, I had some crazy amazing moments here, it’ll be unfair to say I only have bad memories from those last 6 years of my life. I grew as a person, as a human being & fore and foremost as an artist, I realized who I want to become ‘when I grow up’. I went through hell and back, I cried too much but that only made me even stronger, I have a thick skin, I have a wall strong enough to not let other people’s opinion destroy my peace.

I know I’m only 19 but I feel so grown compared to who I was when I first moved here and all these experiences became lessons I’ll never forget no matter how many years pass by.

Back to the present. This last year, starting from September ‘16, I started distancing myself from the people I knew here because I got into uni –which is down town, aka 1 hour with public transportation & also because I started taking A LOT of dancing classes, in a dance school whose owner is one of the most incredibly talented women I know, Claire, thanks to her and the beautiful studio she has created down town, I found where I truly belong, do I wanna have a university degree? Sure. Is that who I am? Hell, no. Let me make this clear to y’all, I was born to be on a stage, performing, making people feel things, hopefully someday, inspire people; I am by no means talented or anything, but I can assure you I am willing to give my heart and soul to become the best version of me. I feel like home there, I’m not being judged the way I was in secondary & high school. I have found my happy place and a major reason why I’m so glad I’m moving is because I’ll be waaaaaay closer to it than I am right now. I don’t want to get into more details about my life now because it’ll take ages but all I have to say is I am finally happy & I am finally me.

To you all who read the whole thing, thank you, for real, I want you to remember change can be very beautiful and trust me, it’ll come when you’re ready, even if you don’t think you’re ready, God, fate, whoever or whatever you believe in knows best.

Yours,

Athina, x