Lifentasy

(this is the 2nd part of an article I wrote last week; YELL - ONE ) 45 minutes and a list full of emotions. In a cold space filled with people waiting for someone to come or leave. I was nervous, kinda like, I was taking a test but the answers were right in front of me. You know, sometimes you are aware of the truth but choose to ignore it simply because you don’t like it. I’m not a delusional human being but I need to escape reality from time to time, this one, I did for good. My mouth started speaking and my heart just shut. I didn’t wanna feel anything I just needed to be done with this as soon as possible. Oddly enough I was more collected than I thought I’d be. For a second it felt like I was in a movie, it was surreal and so real at the same time.   His answers to my questions were, for the most part, what I expected they’d be. I was listening to him and all I could think of is why on earth I put my self in such situation. I probably nod my head way too man...

Baby,  I’m sorry. Not too much but I am. I wish I didn’t have to do it but I do. I hate it. I finally let my mind take over my heart. You have no idea how much I wish I hadn’t, it happened. I miss you already and it hasn’t even been 2 full days.  Yesterday morning I woke up and decided I had to take a break from you, I told you, you said “okay”. I felt relieved, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I was even happy; I was calm, at peace. Then I saw you, I ignored you. I was trying not to think about the whole situation too much. Around 9 pm my heart decided to give me a very hard time, I wouldn’t focus on anything other than the fact that I wasn’t allowed to text you. I knew it was going to happen but not that intensively. I went out, I drank, I could barely think of anything. I almost confessed to someone but, don’t worry, I didn’t say a word. I just needed to do it so badly. I swallowed it.  Today, I woke up numb; I was okay, neither...