Bold & Underlined.

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I miss you and you already know. I know you do. I’ve told you so many times hoping you’ll at some point say it back but it never happened. I’m okay with that. But I’m not okay with your absence, not yet. I miss the way your body felt next to mine or on me. I miss that little smile, the dimples, the way you looked at me before kissing me. I miss who you were 2 months ago. I miss your aura. I miss you making me feel calm, caring about me, calling me things. I even miss you getting pissed at me, our stupid little fights. I miss who I thought you were, the idea I had of us, of this. I miss you when I’m tipsy. 

I wish I could hug you and never let you go. I wish I could turn back time and stop it when we were so good. When I felt a connection, when you knew how to make me happy. When you were sure you wanted me in your life, when you loved me or at least pretended to do so. It hurts like hell, God knows it does. I miss you telling me you can’t stop thinking about me. I miss the way you used to talk to me when you were drinking. I wish I had the right things to say or do. I wish I could just leave you, let you go. I wish I was strong enough. I wish you could see what goes on inside my head. I wish you tried a little harder for this, make me feel wanted. Not in a sexual way. I wish you were sad this “relationship” turned into empty words and lies and what ifs. I wish it hurt you just a little bit, I wish you needed me just a tiny little bit. I wish you wanted to put the tiniest bit of effort into comforting me. You know that I love you wholeheartedly and that won’t change anytime soon unfortunately. Tomorrow I’ll be fine, but I miss you tonight.


 Athina, x.

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