muse

Long time no see, till someone brings the sleeping muse back to life. I tried giving her CPR several times but came out empty handed. It takes another individual to do so, and I have a feeling I may or may not have met my next chapter in the book of hopeless love stories. This one however, isn't like your usual heaven that turned into hell type of situation, it's more of a grounded, growing relationship between two people that are unsure about each other for their own different reasons. The infatuation between them is unquestionable, but has that ever been enough to make something last for a respectful amount of time? Only time will tell.

I never believed in a perfect life, if anything I've seen her ugly side for the most part, but I do believe in perfect chemistry and moments taken straight out of a cheesy romantic movie. I think some souls are meant to find each other for a lifetime or a lesson. And while I don't believe in forever, I wish some seconds lasted a little bit longer. I always laugh when people call me romantic but, between me and you, I'm a hopeless one even. You see, I still haven't met that one person that will act and feel the same way I do when I fall in love with someone.

I haven't had a lot of muses in my life, but the ones I've seen and known were worth every word written about them with their help. Although this one is different; She’s been pushing me to make art about her for the longest time but no matter how hard I've tried to do so, I failed miserably. Single paragraphs and unfinished thoughts were the only thing I was left with once the inspirational rush was over. This is probably the fifth time I'm trying to put sentences about her in order to form some sort of meaningful text and, to be honest, I'm still unsure about how to present her to the world.

I think what scares me the most when it comes to writing about her, is what separates her from my previous ones: that people already know about her whether they’re aware of it or not. She's not a secret like all the ones in my past. So me putting these sentences out for everyone to see would make my soul transparent and that's something I'm not ready to deal with. I never thought she'd look the way she does, if anything I did everything in my power for her to not have a hold on me. She has every potential to either become the greatest thing that has happened to me or my biggest heart break, but for now I'm just glad I have my inspiration back. I needed to find that part of myself so badly.

 

To be continued....

 

Athina, x.