Lifentasy

happened today... I did it. I got him alone. I had him for two hours. He was mine for a while. I was holding him. I had everything I wanted. But he asked for too much. Much more that I could ever give not only to him but to anyone. I just can't, I gave him more than I've ever given to a guy and it wasn't enough. All he wanted was me to give him my body as it is with no feelings or mercy. I couldn't do anything more than what I did. This was the last time, the second and last time. Was it worth all the effort? I'm not sure. I just wish I could give it all to him. But I couldn't. I feel so confused and empty. He treated me as if I meant nothing. And I know I didn't ask for feelings but still. I wanna thank God for giving me the chance to spend time with the guy I'm in love with. I can't ask for more. I wanted one last time with him and it happened I don't wanna be ungrateful. I'm having a headache and I feel like crying. I'll ge...

(If you’ve missed part one (I posted it a year ago) check it out here .) Okay, so today I won’t get into personal details or events. I’ll just say that throughout this year, many things happened, I was in a relationship for quite a few months so he wasn’t in my life. He “came” back a. because I broke up & I started flirting again, b. because I had a dream of him one day and the next day I saw him and here we go again. This post is going to be about the feels he gives me not about the events. When he looks at me I feel like every cell of my body is being activated. I feel like he speaks to my heart. He sets my body on fire. I can’t get his look out of my head, at some point I don’t want to. He’s so handsome, seeing him makes my eyes and heart happy. Just seeing him, it brings me back to life. His blue eyes are the prettiest thing I’ve ever starred at. One look and I’m upon cloud 9, I’m happy, it’s all I need. You know, it feels right. Even if ...

Whenever I’m alone, I think about many things that scare me…whenever I’m not listening to music my thoughts become so loud, so loud that I can’t hear anything but them. They’re so scary. They freak the hell out of me. My mind makes up so many stories, theories, monsters… Most of the time I try to ignore them but whenever I’m alone I can’t help it. All the problems and anxiety make me shrink into my own ocean. I fall so hard it hurts so bad. I feel like cutting again or killing myself or wanting to run away. It’s so intensive and scary. I get panic and anxiety attacks. I can’t breathe, I can’t speak, my heart beats so fast. And all this because my mind is messing so fucking hard with me. It’s me eating myself. It’s a monster inside my head and it wants to eat my everything, I’m afraid it’s all my fault. I can’t help it though, I can’t stop me from falling into pieces. It won’t let me sleep or be happy. I wake up thinking about all the negative things in my life. I can barely smi...

Sounds cliché doesn’t it?! Sometimes the things we hear most often are the things we tend to forget but these are the most important ones. Believe in who you are and who you want to be doesn’t have to do with your sex, shape, religion or race. It has to do with finding the power inside you to pursue your dreams. Believing is achieving. Achieving your goals. Becoming who YOU want to be, not what they want you to be. Since it’s your life, it is your choice. You have to work for it, you and nobody else. It can get really hard. The process is not easy whatsoever. Just never give up because at the end you’ll know it’s all worth it. Throughout this journey, you’ll find who you really are. You’ll change, grow and explore a better version of yourself. When you feel like giving up, remember why you started. Search within yourself and find the strength to continue. People will try to bring you down, judge and criticize you. Don’t you ever let anyone...

 (listen to this while reading it) Do you believe in love from the first sight? Well, I don't really. Maybe you can fall in love with someone just by a look into their eyes but not deep, honest & pure love. How about the second, third or fourth sight? Let's take it from the top (you asked me what my sign is but I told you it was stop -lol, no). I met him around 8 months ago (Jan. 1st actually). He talked to me that night at the party, he even kissed my cheek before leaving. I wasn't very sober that night though, so I didn't pay attention. Uhmm...I should have because the next day, I found out not only that he was handsome but also that he had seen me dancing at another "party" before and he thought I was a... "star" (that's how we call someone talented in Greece). I decided to send him a friend request on Facebook -he lives a couple of km away from me- he approved it & liked a few of my photos. 1 week after t...

Whenever I write these personal stories and stuff I always start off by explaining the whole "situation" but this is kinda cliché don't you think? So I decided that today I'm just going to write down my thoughts, memories and emotions about this subject totally randomly... (Listen to these songs while reading this one) I don't really believe that dreams have an inner meaning than the obvious one. For example, if you see a snake they say it means death, I say it just means that you might see a snake or another dangerous creature. Therefore all I'm gonna do is pray that what I saw yesterday in my sleep is going to happen in... someway. In the dream, we were so close, even closer than in reality, you wanted to hug me the way I want to hold you in my arms every day of my life... You whispered to me that I'm gorgeous, amazing and that you'll never, ever leave me. And I said that I love you and I do in real life as well... I do, I...

“I love you” she whispered, “I love you, too” he lied but she didn’t know. She wasn’t worried, not anymore; she knew nothing could hurt her more than X. After him nothing scares her. She fakes a smile every day of her life, no one notices, of course, they don’t care and she’s a good actress. Too young only 17 and she has a broken heart and depressed soul. No matter how hard she tries she knows she’ll never have a normal life ever again. She has started getting used to it, to the fact that even if good things happen in her life bad things will follow for sure. She still has dreams & visions and a hope deep in her heart but he knows she’ll always be alone. No boy will ever fall for her hard, as hard as she fell for X she knows that boys lie. She doesn’t have any friends. They think she does, she just hangs out with a few girls and calls them ‘friends’ and they think she’s being honest with them. She’s not she’s not even honest with herself. Her heart broke into millions of pieces a...