Posts

I choose you.

I choose you every day of my life. I choose you because you are my life, through you I live and die all at once. A love greater than any other, a love that fills me and kills me. So passionate and true, stronger than the fire and the water. I choose you because you were, you are and you will always be there for me no matter what. When everyone leaves, you stay, when I'm aching, at my highest and my lowest. At the best and the worst moments of my existence, you were there whenever I needed you. You were there to remind me who I am and who I want to be; why this is all worth it and why there is no point in stressing over anything, really, as long as you're here with me, in me. You are my absolute everything, my universe starts and ends with you. Nothing is and will ever come before you, before us. You're not just a part of me. You are me and I am you. And I wouldn't change you for the world. You have saved me so many times and you continue to do so all the time. When i...

illusion.

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Surrounded by faces, many of them, all with a story to tell and opinions to share. Some familiar some of strangers. A bunch of conversations firing up around me, listening but not hearing. Taking another sip of my drink staring at the sea, lifting my head, stars, millions of them, grains of sand. The sound of the waves and the light from the night sky. Blurry voices, clear vision of the moon, it looks bloody red tonight, love. My phone vibrates and a grin was painted on my face. Looking back at the sky, are there any falling stars? Or at least pretend an airplane is one of those. I could really use a wish right now, to be honest. I'm not alone, then why do I feel so lonely? I haven't seen you in a while but it's not your physical appearance what I'm missing, it's your presence and the way I feel when you're sitting next to me. Being alone physical and emotional are two very different things. Feeling lonely in a crowded place has nothi...

life

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("S"is referred to a special someone, that's all you need to know.) Moments, our lives are full of them, good and bad ones. Moments you wish you could forget and others you wish you could freeze. Ones you regret doing something and others you wish you had done something or something else. Moments you keep replaying in your head cause you just can't get enough of them. Some hurt so badly that nothing physical could ever make you ache as much. The good ones though, if only I could turn back time and re-experience them just once, or maybe twice, more. Tipsy moments. Blurry mind, messy words.The truth. Glances that last seconds but feel like minutes, hugs you'd rather stay in for an eternity. Conversations so deep and meaningful you almost let go of the real world and everyone around you, you get lost in the other person's story, their mind, their soul and if you're lucky enough, their heart. Truly beautiful people you knew all along but got to meet ou...

I fell like a fool.

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This is the first time I'm so overwhelmed by my own emotions that I have no idea how to put them into words; though I'm gonna try or I'll drown. You know pain is what usually inspires me to write anything you read from me, alhtough this time it's different. I'm obsessing over someone I never even thought I'd give a second look at. This feeling is so new to me, I don't even know how to call it; lust? Desire? Attraction? Well, definitely way more powerful than the last one. You came exactly when I needed you the most, right when I was missing that rush in my blood and that kind of stupidity in my head, the one we experience when we fall in love, madly. Crazy: that's how it's called. I'm crazy mad about you and I haven't even touched you yet. You've fucked my mind so many times, physical attraction has nothing on it, to be honest. I don't know how to stop myself from going completely nuts over you. I love your soul and ...

El Oh Vee Ee

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Wide eyes, sweaty palms. Heavy breathing, fast heartbeating. Shivers. Leaves you starving for more. Gives a lot but never all. The kind you're hungry for. That makes you wanna get down on your knees and beg for it. The one that fulfills you by stealing everything you have; body and soul. Fucks your mind in ways you can't explain. You can't help but crave for more. You become greedy, sinful; just to get the divine feeling that comes with it. Cherry lips and the angelic touch from the devil. Heavenly chaotic with a taste of freedom; though you're addicted to it, you can't escape. Prisoner; but the door is unlocked. Blood and tears. Abusive and affectionate all at once. Never enough. Darkness, but all you see is light. Enemies and allies at the same exact moment. Explosion; a perfectly put together mess, a work of art. Obsessive and catastrophic but it makes the world go round. The only thing that can make the time go truly fast or just stop. The...

Play Pretend.

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You know how sometimes you really want to text someome just to talk to them and they text you first but instead of being happy you feel pissed? You're mad because you know this will never work out, the facts are always there and the reality the same it was a year ago. Let's pretend what we always wanted to do could actually happen. Let's pretend our little game of devils and angels is our life. Let's just act as if we don't know well enough we'll eventually fall apart again; and you'll finally be mine even for a split second. Ignore our connection and the way our minds and souls understand each other in ways we'll never be able to explain with words. And I'll ignore catching you staring at me and me looking at the other way so that no one else notices what is going on. My greatest sin and biggest secret. A "swear you'll take this one to the grave" kind of relationship; one caught between pure love and affection and intense ...

God knows you tried.

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You prayed, you cried, you were up all night; trying to figure out what went so wrong, what mistakes you made and whether you could possibly fix them. Over and over again. For so long, so much energy invested in a single human being that was doing just fine without you. You loved her more than she could ever be able to handle. You were ready to save her ungrateful ass despite the cost. Look at you sucker, you don’t deserve all this pain, nobody does. Or maybe, just maybe, she does. You loved her with your entire soul, you know it. God knows. She runs around with people who’d never do half of the things you’d still –after all this time, do for her; believing those are the “real ones” just because with them it’s easy and fun. You tried everything, you gave everything you literally had, anything and everything for a person who can’t even understand this type of love because she’s never felt it. She broke you, she made you feel worthless, like you don’t matter; yet you loved h...